Just the Write Stuff

I didn't post about it because quite frankly the more I dwelled on it the worse I felt. I know it's something that I must meet head on but I didn't feel like meeting it at all. Didn't want to think about it. Didn't want it to cross my mind and this morning, something reminded me. Something forced me to deal with the pain. I sit here in tears now but they aren't sad tears. Today, they are good tears.


Last Saturday was 14 years. 14 years that God took my sweet daddy from me. My comforter, the one man that I felt I could always count on being there. One morning I woke and he had disappeared. He was no longer there for my own protection. He was no longer there to talk to, to give advice. He was no longer there to give me strength and to just BE. The walks through the woods, helping in the garden. Oh how he could grow things. Cancer took him from me. That ugly disease. He took my strong daddy and made him a weak man.


Today I woke and realized I should be happy. Not happy that he is gone but happy that I have all of those fantastic memories of him. He had such a great sense of humor and was such an honorable man. I was truly blessed to know him. Not just as my daddy but as a man. Family oriented and he loved me. Loved me quite possibly more than anyine ever has or ever will. I felt that unconditional, unceasing love.


We shared so much together. I am truly my father's daughter. I take with me pieces of him daily. My staunch Republican ideals and values that he instilled in me long ago. The love for anything that grows (though I'm sure I'll never grow anything like he did). Love for my quiet time. Love for music. Love for the State of Georgia and her red dirt and hilly roads. The smell of rain and the sound of a good storm. The love for the Atlanta Braves and the frustration at their failures. Gosh he loved Chipper. Thought he was amazing.....the next Hank Aaron.....the next Roger Marris. He was right.....as always.


I have to admit, when Brook came home from 10th inning after talking to Al and telling me that Chipper may be considering another team, I was so upset. Almost in tears. NO, NO, NO. He could NOT do that. Chipper will NOT leave Atlanta. He belongs to ME. He belongs to my dad. He's is OUR legacy. He is the last link we have. He can't leave me.


In all fairness here. OK yeah, I've met Chipper but he doesn't know me. I have no claim on him. He wouldn't know me if I walked up to him now. But still....my daddy loved him. That makes me love him. That makes him mine. I prayed, I cried.


Even now it sounds so silly. That's when I realized. Chipper is just Chipper. He won't play forever. 4 more years at most. The Braves are just the Braves (they tore down Atlanta Fulton county stadium). But my daddy......he will always be my daddy. No matter who retires, no matter who wins the pennant. I always have those sweet memories. I will have honey buns in the Summer time and playing cards at night. We never missed an opening day. That will stay with me until I see him again.


He's there, waiting on the other side. Braves hat on his head, fussing about that man in office and debating stats on who's the greatest ball player, with St Peter.


God knew how important it was to me though, he heard my prayers and Chipper is Atlanta's for the rest of his career. While I'm extremely happy. It doesn't change the fact that my daddy is gone. He won't go to the games with me. We won't heckle the umpires and make fun of the other team. I'll do that alone.


Yes, I am my father's daughter in every sense of the word.......and today.......tomatoes are just tomatoes.