Shawn Mullins

So yesterday was Shawn's concert in town. I wanted so bad to go. Had planned on it all week long. Was truly looking forward to it. Wanted to say hi to a long ago friend.

When I went to North Georgia College, what seems like many moons ago in the early 1990's, way before marriage and children and responsibility, I had a group of friends that were important to me. We hung out together, frequented a little sticky dive bar called Beauregard's and one of these friends was a musician. His name was Shawn. Very down to earth, good heart, sweet soul, kinda quiet and mysterious in that musician kinda way. He gave me his Cassette tape (not a CD but a Cassette) that he had produced himself. It was simply titled "Shawn Mullins".

It was then that I was introduced to his talented vocal stylings.

I remember blaring my stereo in the dorm with this music. Everyone knew him around campus. He was just an awesome guy and everyone liked that tape.

I remember walking across the campus, up the hill, usually drinking before we got there. Going into this little hole in the wall place. Tiny place, dirty, sticky floors, wobbly tables. There MAY have been 6 tables at most but I remember about 4.

It was always dark, always a couple of older locals, mostly us college kids. Shawn's friends.

He'd play on a stool in the corner. He was awesome.

The nights were always awesome.

My friend.

Gosh I haven't seen him in forever. Sadly, I had almost forgot about those times until about a week ago I saw he was going to be in town and something hit me. I missed those days. I missed his laugh. I missed his music. (He's so much better live than on CD).

We would go. I would say hi. See what he's up to. So excited.

Brook fell asleep. i tried to get him up yesterday. He had taken Graham to the skatepark, came home and I TOLD him not to go to sleep. He wouldn't get up.

Honestly. I don't think he wanted me to go. I TRULY think he felt threatened.

I started to go alone.

But didn't.

So now today, I'm so absorbed with opportunities lost. I should have went last night. I should have seen him. Life is too short and this is not happening again.

If it were HIM and something he wanted to do....there would have been no question.

From now on. I vow to live. No more opportunities lost.

I miss those days of Beau's. Not the drinking but the friendship. The fun. Why can't I have that now?

So anyway, today....I'm working, listening to Shawn on CD. Wishing for time to go back.

Won't happen, I know. But it will go forward and I'm not missing anything anymore. Even if I have to go it alone........